Turning Point

Darren Hardy

[From SUCCESS magazine, January 2010 Publisher’s Letter]
Ah, 2010, what a poetic-sounding number. We just finished the first decade of the new millennium—time to take an accounting.

Over the last 10 years, how’d you do? Are you living the life you envisioned for yourself? In 1999, when you were watching the ball drop for the new millennium, is this the life you pictured for yourself back then? Ten years ago did you think you would be richer and healthier, have a better marriage and more friends, experience more joy and have more peace of mind than you do now?

If so, it’s time for a turning point.

You’ve probably heard the definition of insanity—doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.

If you don’t want the next 10 years to be like the last, then now is the time to do something different.

Humans are unique. We are the only species who can completely change the course of our lives. Ants can’t do it, alligators can’t and lions can’t. If a goose wanted to fly west instead of south for the winter, it couldn’t. All other animals besides humans are directed entirely by impulse written into their genetic code. As a human, if you don’t like the story of your life thus far, you can rip up the script and write a completely new one.

Ask anyone who has achieved great success in life—there was a turning point, a time when they made a clear and resolute decision that from that moment forward, their life would never be the same. They drew a figurative line in the sand and separated the patterns of their past from their new vision of themselves and the life they were committed to leading. Some make that turning point at age 15, some not until they’re 50; some do it several times throughout their lives and some never at all.

My challenge to you is this—now is your turning point.

This year, this month, this day, this moment. What you have accomplished so far is only a fraction of what’s truly possible for you. You are far more powerful, capable and gifted than you allow yourself to be. The only thing separating you from your grandest vision of your life is courage. Muster the courage to declare that right now, this year is your turning point.

This issue of SUCCESS is dedicated to helping you kick-start 2010, and we bring you 44 innovative ways to do just that from experts and readers (page 52) and in my article (page 66). And to get you thinking about your life’s purpose, we interviewed Alicia Keys, who has dedicated her career to inspiring others and offers insights on making a difference with your talents and finding your purpose (page 46). And Marcus Buckingham (page 28) provides tips on finding the strengths you will need this new year and beyond.

Make a decision.

When the clock strikes midnight 10 years from now, you’ll be able to look back with 2020 hindsight at this moment and this year as your pivotal turning point for the dream life you will be enjoying. Kick-start your 2010 and let the grand adventure begin!

-Darren Hardy
P.S.

I want to help you make the next 10 years of your life the ABSOLUTE best 10 years you’ve experienced yet. Here’s what I’m going to do, starting January 5th, I’m going to walk you through a proven life planning process over the following 8 weeks, right here on this blog – and your desktop – completely free.
Posting twice a week, there will be 16 installments and I’ll guide you step-by-step, through the education and development process.

I’ll give you all the worksheets, planning documents, video and audio support tools you’ll need to make the transformation and achieve your BIG goals over the course of the next 10 years!

Video Update from Darren Hardy–End of Week 2

VIDEO MESSAGE FROM DARREN HARDY:

Here’s a summary of week two in our journey towards Designing the Best 10 Years of Your Life.

Darren Hardy answers your questions and gives you a course update.
We also selected some of your questions left in the comments and Darren’s answers. You are welcome to peruse common questions and insights others have had in the text below the video as well. PLEASE CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

If you missed any of the previous installment downloads, here they are again:
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET 4

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET 3

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET 2

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET 1


Video Update from Darren Hardy–End of Week 2

VIDEO MESSAGE FROM DARREN HARDY:

Here’s a summary of week two in our journey towards Designing the Best 10 Years of Your Life.

Darren Hardy answers your questions and gives you a course update.
We also selected some of your questions left in the comments and Darren’s answers. You are welcome to peruse common questions and insights others have had in the text below the video as well. PLEASE CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

If you missed any of the previous installment downloads, here they are again:
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET 4

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET 3

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET 2

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WORKSHEET 1


How to Deal With Mean People in Your Life

mean people 217x300 How to Deal With Mean People in Your LifeThis weekend I had a very frustrating incident. As I was getting into a taxi, the driver got distracted and started driving off without checking if I had closed the door. Can you imagine my shock when I had one leg inside the car and the car suddenly started moving? I literally jumped inside, but my ankle still got caught in the door. Besides an ugly bruise I got a piece of the driver’s mind about how long it takes for SOME people to get into a car. No “I’m sorry!” No “Are you ok?” Nothing! I am usually good at controlling my temper, but this time all I could think of was how much I want to smack this rude man and give him a piece of my mind about his manners.

Do you often let a rude taxi driver, an uncaring boss, an insensitive co-worker or an arrogant stranger ruin your day? Have you ever wondered why sometimes people purposely say or do mean things?

I could come up with 4 main reasons:

a) They try to overcompensate for their hurt Ego. Someone has hurt them in the past when they felt especially vulnerable and now they are trying to regain their power and self-confidence by hurting you.

b) They secretly fear that they have the same quality that they are making fun of. For example, if a person makes derogatory remarks about someone being overweight, they are most likely insecure about their own body and are afraid that people will notice it too.

c) They are deeply attached to their sufferings and failures. As weird as it may seem, many people refuse to let go of their negativity, because it brings some drama into their life and gives them something to worry about.

d) They crave attention and love. Just like teenagers when reaching a difficult age act out of spite to prove their own independence, adults defy social norms to get attention and a strong emotion out of you (even if it is a negative emotion).

How do you respond to mean people?

I have noticed that there are two spontaneous reactions when it comes to dealing with negative people 1) we get mean and rude back or 2) we let them run all over us while boiling inside with righteous indignation. Neither of these options seems particularly attractive.

In fact there is a better way to deal with mean people – do not let them get to you.

There is a great story on this topic:

One day a man came up to Buddha and spat in his face. Buddha, slowly wiped of the spit with his shawl and asked, “Do you have anything more to say?” The man was not ready for this question, and ashamed he ran away.

That night the man could not get to sleep, because he realized that he had actually offended an enlightened person. The next morning he came back and fell in front of Buddha on his knees. Again Buddha looked at him and asked, “Do you have anything else to say”. The man was completely puzzled, “Yesterday I offended you and you didn’t get mad, today I am begging for your forgiveness and you are not happy. Why?!” Buddha looked at him with his peaceful smile and said, “Because I am not your Slave”.

You can not enter a lake filled with silt and dirty water and come out clean. When you let mean people drag you down to their level, they start to control your actions and their negativity rubs off on to you.

Think of mean people as huge garbage trucks. They are full of anger, frustration, hatred, disappointments and negativity. When that garbage starts to pile up, they feel the need to dump it on someone else (preferably someone who is in a good mood). If you have been chosen as a dump spot, do not allow them to run over you and do not spread this negativity onto other people.

Refuse to take all angry or offensive comments close to heart. Just smile and wish those people well, because they are the ones who deserve compassion more than anyone else. After all they carry tons of emotional garbage with them 24/7.

I do not like to use the phrase “kill them with kindness”, because it sounds vindictive. If behind your bright smile lays an attempt to provoke the person even further, then you are no better than they are. If you can not be truly kind to someone who is being mean to you, polite indifference will do just fine.

Remember, you do not have to attend every argument that you are invited to. Just say, “No, thanks” and move on to something that brings you joy and distracts your mind from indulging in negative emotions. You can pray, think of your favorite quote, sing a song in your head or just recall a funny story from your past. For example, when I feel irritated I usually repeat my positivity “mantra”. That is the only reason why one infamous taxi driver did not get yelled at. :)

 How to Deal With Mean People in Your Life

Wisdom and Motivation from Will Smith (video)


Great video, watch it:

My favorite quotes:

“If you’re not making someone’s life better, you’re wasting your time.”
“I want to do good. I want the world to be better because I was here.”

 Wisdom and Motivation from Will Smith (video)